Your True Friend

You come into this world alone and leave alone. While you are here you meet a lot of people, they come and go; some stay till the end. But when the end does come even those who were around the longest have to stay back because it is your journey to embark upon. So in this scenario of constant change, a lifetime of being in a flux, what is it that has remained constant? You.

You are the most important person you will ever come across. Simply because you spend the most time with yourself and there is never an escape from being you. This doesn’t mean that you are the most and only important person in your life and you should put yourself before everything and everyone. But when the day ends and the dust settles, you are your own home.

Therefore, it becomes very essential for you to understand and familiarise yourself with who you really are and what you really want. Before we discuss why that is important let’s quickly look at what were to happen if you didn’t know yourself as well as you should.

You are a quiet person but you sometimes like to go out and have fun with your friends at cafes or nice restaurants. If you didn’t know that that’s the kind of thing you like to do you would probably hang out with the ‘cool’ group in your school and college and end up going out every other night to loud places. While this would seem like a lot of fun on the outside, inside it would only make you very uncomfortable.

Or think about the kind of relationships you would like to have. If you are a meticulous person, you will like to have small details chalked out and your relationship labelled. Nothing too burdensome but just enough to give you some stability and constancy. But if you knowingly get into a relationship with someone who is scared of making commitments just because you didn’t know or acknowledge the kind of person you are; your relationship would get really toxic.

Knowing things like what you are scared of, your favourite colour or your allergies is just the tip of the iceberg. It is what’s inside that’s really important. Your small habits, the kind of emotions you experience in certain situations and why you feel them, what ticks you off, why do you think one person is better than the other, and things like that.

An important way of self-discovery is the kind of feeling you experience for others, especially despise, hatred, or anger. A lot of times the primary reason behind why you hate someone is because they have something you want or because they are acting like a mirror to the flaws that are actually inside you. Let me give you two examples of my own friends.

A friend of mine always felt a surge of anger for a girl in our batch who always got the most attention from everyone, and if she had to, she resorted to crying to get this attention. We soon realised that my friend disliked the girl because she too wanted the kind of attention that girl got but she didn’t like crying for it. And she happened to be a great classical dancer. We enrolled her for the dance competition and from then on the stage has become her dominion. She saw what she wanted in someone else and realised it for herself; turning the anger into indifference and being happy.

Another friend disliked a girl who believed in calling a spade a spade and never understood how it made people feel. These two girls were good friends but there was something about her behaviour that always put my friend off. Only much later did she realise that she did the exact same the thing and actually didn’t like it in herself.

Self-discovery can be a difficult journey. Look at it like a mountain- the journey uphill is arduous but the view is great

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